


Which bar, asshole?

by botiot



Series: Bathroom Antics [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, chatfic, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:29:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/botiot/pseuds/botiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo accidentally walks in on Tsukki whilst he's on the toilet, which inevitably leads to a date...and cats...and kissing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Terrible Toilet Incident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really dumb but i'm proud of it

If Kuroo was being completely honest with himself, this wasn’t the way he had expected the day to go.

When he had walked into the bathroom at his workplace, he had fully intended to simply relieve himself and relax a little before the big meeting he had scheduled in a few minutes. Naturally though, the universe had other plans for him.

Kuroo froze in the middle of swinging open the door, gripping the handle so tightly he could feel his muscles straining as he stood in the doorway of the toilet cubicle. He looked down in horror at the blonde-haired, bespectacled man sitting before him with his pants down and his legs wide, glaring up at him with an equal amount of horror and shock on his face. They stared at each other in mutual dismay, each of their cheeks growing redder by the second until Kuroo had the sense to stutter out a hasty apology.

“I-I’m so sorry…I d-didn’t mean to…thought it was f-free…” He stammered, trying – and failing – to look anywhere else except at the semi-naked man in front of him.

There was a moment’s silence whilst they both contemplated their next course of action.

“U-um–”

“Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to let me finish my business in peace?” The man snapped, his voice sharp and mocking despite the evident embarrassment and mortification etched all over his face.

“S-sorry.” Kuroo stumbled backwards and marched quickly out of the bathrooms, placing his hands against his cheeks in an attempt to cool them down.

He made it back to his desk and slumped down in his chair, leaning his forehead against the table and letting out a long, strained groan. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Can’t believe _what_ just happened?” His colleague Kenma drawled, not even glancing away from his computer screen as he continued to tap away at the keyboard. Well, he said colleague, what he really meant was ‘exceptionally intelligent subordinate that seemed to be better at doing Kuroo’s job than he was’.

“I just had an extremely embarrassing encounter in the bathroom.” Kuroo sulked, still reeling from the mortifying event.

“Really?” Kenma muttered, his voice completely devoid of any interest or concern.

Kuroo lifted his head to look at his co-worker imploringly, “Do you want to know what happened?”

“No." 

“Okay I’ll tell you.” He wheeled his chair over to Kenma’s desk and stretched his arms across the length of free space at Kenma’s elbow, sending potentially important documents floating to the floor as he leaned back to nestle his head in left hand so that he was looking at Kenma’s profile, “Someone was…doing their business in one of the cubicles…and I walked in on them.” He felt himself cringe with embarrassment from just speaking the words.

“Oh no, how horrific.” Kenma said in a monotonous drone, keeping his eyes glued to the computer screen.

“Kenma~” Kuroo whined, “You could at least _pretend_ to feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t have the energy to pretend to feel sorry for you.”

“It was a traumatic experience; I may even need therapy.” He moaned, letting his head sink forward onto Kenma’s arm and continuing to sulk.

“Was the sight of him half-naked really that horrifying?” Kenma’s said, his words tinged with a hint of amusement.

“No, that’s the worst part! He was _attractive_ , like, I had a hard time _not_ looking at him.” Kuroo whinged, “If we’d have met anywhere else I’d have been showering him with good pick-up lines and winning him over with my natural charm.”

“Your pick-up lines are awful.”

“That’s mean Kenma.” Kuroo pouted.

“And you have about as much charm as a furby.”

“Wow thanks, I’m flattered.” Kuroo mumbled sarcastically.

“Same hairstyle too.”

“Now that’s just plain rude.” He lifted his head a little to glare at his subordinate, “How is that supposed to make me feel any better?”

“It’s not." 

“Kenma!”

Kenma stopped typing for a second to pat Kuroo gently on the head with his right hand, “I’m sorry you had to encounter an attractive man in such a horrific and embarrassing situation. Now will you please go back to being my boss? We have a meeting in five minutes.” He got up and walked over to the printer, completely ignoring Kuroo’s wide smile and touched expression.

“You actually comforted me. When did you grow up so much?” Kuroo said absent-mindedly as he wheeled himself back to his desk and tried to shake himself back into business mode.

“When I ended up babysitting a twenty-six-year-old child.”

Kuroo frowned, “You’re not referring to me are you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Kuroo narrowed his eyes at Kenma as he walked back over to his desk, “I’m your boss you know, you should be nicer to me or I will fire you.”

Kenma tapped a pile of paper against the desk, straightening them out as he gave his reply, “You can’t fire me, you rely on me too much.” He said, and Kuroo marvelled at the entirely neutral expression on his face.

“How is it that you can say extremely self-centred things whilst looking totally innocent?”

“It’s a gift.” Kenma looked up from his papers to glance through the wall of glass panels that stretched from floor to ceiling, – offering a stunning view of the drab, grey hallway outside – and lifted an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh, they’re here, are you ready Kuroo?”

Kuroo was going to reply with a confident ‘of course’ until he saw exactly who the businessmen he was supposed to be meeting with were. To his horror, he saw the lanky blonde from the embarrassing toilet encounter shaking hands with the manager, accompanied by a slightly shorter man with shaggy brown hair and a sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheeks.

He heard a low whine escape his throat and he turned to Kenma in terror, already feeling the blush heating his face, “Kenma it’s him!” 

“The guy from the toilet?” He studied the group again as they made small talk with the manager, “The shorter one?”

“What? No! The tall blonde one.” Kuroo replied incredulously.

Kenma wrinkled his nose, “You find him attractive?” 

“You _don’t_?”

Kenma shrugged, “He looks a little scary to me.”

Kuroo buried his head in his hands, “This isn’t about how attractive he is, this is about me and how I am definitely not going to be able to survive this meeting."

“You’ll be fine.”

“I’m going to die.” He groaned.

 “Just relax and picture him naked or something.”

Kuroo glared at Kenma through his fingers, and Kenma blinked at him until he realised exactly what he had said, “Oh. I realise now that that was probably not the best advice I could have given.”

“No shit.” Kuroo growled.

“If it helps, he’ll probably be just as uncomfortable as you are.”

“It doesn’t.” Kuroo murmured through gritted teeth.

All too soon there was a knock on the door and Kuroo found himself straightening up, testing out a smile, and trying his best to gather his thoughts.

 _Just one hour Tetsu, you only have to suffer for one hour_.

 _One more hour and it will all be over_.

***

The meeting was much longer than an hour.

He’d like to have said that he made it through simply because he was a professional businessman dedicated to doing the best for his company, but in reality it was down to Kenma’s superior intellect and his own uncanny flair for bullshitting his way through his sentences. Kuroo had tried not to think too much about the incident in the bathrooms with the other man – or Tsukishima, as he had discovered his name to be – but no matter how hard he tried that image was now seared into his brain. It wasn’t a particularly bad image, but thinking about a potential business partner sitting on a toilet seat with his pants down and his cheeks burning when you were supposed to be discussing business contracts was problematic to say the least.

His only saving grace was that Tsukishima seemed just as pained by the incident as Kuroo himself did. They hardly made eye contact throughout the whole meeting, only trading the most fleeting of glances when absolutely necessary, and staring very pointedly at something else for the rest of the time. By the end of the meeting, Kuroo was completely drained, craving no small of alcohol and desperate for a good night’s sleep.

As soon as the businessmen had left, Kuroo lay his head on the desk and let out a sigh, feeling the tensions gradually seep out of his shoulders and leaving his limbs weak, “That was horrible.”

“Mmm.” Kenma murmured half-heartedly as he began filing away the papers left over from the meeting.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it for the entire meeting.”

“About what?”

“What do you think Kenma? The toilet incident obviously.” Kuroo snapped, pushing himself back into his chair and closing his eyes, kneading his forehead rhythmically. He could feel a headache coming on. “I’m such an idiot.”

“That’s true.”  
  
“You’re not supposed to agree with me.” Kuroo said.  

Normally, Kenma would have replied with a snarky remark, but he stayed silent this time, probably sensing the amount of distress Kuroo was in. After a moment’s silence, he spoke again, “You should apologise.”

“I did! Or I tried anyway.”

“You should apologise properly.” Kenma walked over and stood next to Kuroo’s chair, kicking his foot to get his attention.

Kuroo opened one eye, “And how do you suggest I do that?”

“Invite him out for a drink.”

Kuroo stared at him, “You want me sit down and have a casual drink with the man I first encountered in a bathroom because I accidentally walked in on him shitting?”

“Yes.”

“…That’s…”

“Smart? Sensible? The only way you’ll ever be able to look him in the eye again?” Kenma offered.

“I was going to say insane.”

“Do you want me to apologise for you?”

Kuroo opened his eyes to glare at Kenma vehemently, Kenma steadily returning his gaze completely unfazed by Kuroo’s anger. They stared at each other for a few more seconds until Kuroo finally caved, “FINE! I’ll go.”

He swung himself out of the chair and stomped off down the corridor, irritated. Kenma had some incredible powers of persuasion that Kuroo had fallen for more that once. All it took was a look from him and suddenly he started to feel guilty despite not even having done anything wrong. He knew that Kenma was probably right, that this would be the best way to settle things and break the tension between them, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Temporarily fuelled by anger he punched the ground floor button on the elevator and stood, seething, as he waited for the lift to move. As he descended between the floors, his anger gradually dissipated until he was left with a knot of nerves tightening in his stomach. What was he going to say? What if he declined? What if he got _laughed at_? Kuroo didn’t think he could take any more embarrassing moments today, or for the rest of the week for that matter.

He jumped as the lift jolted to a stop, and stepped out stiffly into the foyer of the building, hearing the lift drag its doors shut ominously behind him. He searched for the two businessmen he had met with earlier, and spotted them by the doors, just about to step out into the early evening air.

Kuroo took a deep breath, “Tsukishima!”

The blonde turned to see who had called his name, and Kuroo could visibly see his face fall into a frown as he realised who it was. Kuroo felt his ice cold glare boring into him even at a distance, making his steps hesitant and uncoordinated as he moved towards the pair. _Wow, this guy has an insane amount of presence_.

“Yes?” Tsukishima said in a light and airy tone as his hard, golden eyes continued glare steadily at him. He gave off such an intimidating aura that Kuroo felt his heart speed up in fear and hands beginning to shake at the mere thought of what he was about to do.

Kuroo cleared his throat, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Tsukishima paused for a long moment before turning towards his partner, “Go on ahead Yamaguchi, I’ll catch up.”

Yamaguchi nodded and stepped outside the building as Tsukishima walked over, leaving Kuroo completely alone with him for the second time today. Kuroo wished his heart would stop jittering about so much at the thought of that. Tsukishima raised an expectant eyebrow and pushed his glasses further up his nose as he waited for an explanation, Kuroo’s gaze lingering absent-mindedly on his long and slender fingers as he concentrated on forming a sentence.

“Um…so…earlier…I kind of…”

“You walked in on me whilst I was on the toilet.” Tsukishima stated. Kuroo’s mouth twitched into a smile and he found himself fighting off laughter at his brutal honesty. _Ah, so he’s one of_ those _guys huh?_

“Yeah.” Kuroo replied, relieved that Tsukishima had been the one to say it instead of him, “I wanted to formally apologise for that. 

“Apology accepted.” He turned to walk away, and Kuroo felt a flash of anger as he grabbed Tsukishima’s arm firmly and held him in place.

“Oi! I’m not done.”

Tsukishima turned back towards him – _wait, was that an_ eye-roll _? –_ and tugged his arm out of Kuroo’s grip, crossing them as he waited for him to continue. _This guy is seriously starting to piss me off_ , Kuroo thought, and suddenly he wasn’t even nervous any more, his uneasiness evaporating in the face of pure stubbornness. There was no way he was going to be humiliated by someone younger than him. Kuroo felt a twinge of mischief bubbling up inside him as he smiled his sweetest smile and prepared to make a deep red blush burn all over this guy’s stupidly attractive face.

“Are you free tomorrow night?”

Kuroo relished in Tsukishima’s double take, his grin only growing wider at the wary and somewhat bewildered expression on the blonde’s face. “Excuse me?” He said quietly.

Kuroo shifted closer, pushing his face within inches of Tsukishima’s, “Tomorrow night, are you free or not?”

He saw Tsukishima swallow and push his glasses up his nose again as an excuse to hide his pink cheeks, “And why is that relevant?” He mumbled through gritted teeth.

“Because I want to take you out for a drink. You know, to apologise properly for the whole…” He leaned right up close to Tsukishima’s ear and lowered his voice to a whisper, “…bathroom incident.” He purred, Tsukishima flinching involuntarily as Kuroo’s breath tickled his skin.

“No.” He turned and started marching purposefully away, all but running out of the doors with Kuroo hot on his tail.

“Oh come on Tsukki~, don’t be like that.” Kuroo said playfully.

Tsukishima whirled around to face him again, and Kuroo almost lost face in front of the pure rage that seemed to be emanating from Tsukishima. “Don’t call me that.” He said, his voice eerily calm, like the quiet before a storm, a really fucking big storm that Kuroo had suddenly decided to plunge into headfirst.

“Well it’s either you let me call you Tsukki and come have a drink with me tomorrow, or I email everyone at your company about our little encounter this morning.”

“You wouldn’t.” Tsukishima said, “Our companies are business partners now, you wouldn’t dare jeopardise that relationship for something as petty as getting me to have a drink with you." 

“Try me.” Kuroo grinned.

Tsukishima paused, weighing the pros and cons of the situations until he settled on his answer. Kuroo waited, knowing that this sharp, up-tight man before him would never take the risk of jeopardising the welfare of his company for personal reasons, no matter how unlikely the cause. Also, who was he kidding, Tsukishima would be stupid to pass up the opportunity to have a drink with someone as attractive as himself.

He was soon proved right when Tsukishima sighed, “Fine, which bar?”

Kuroo held a hand up to his ear mockingly, “What was that? I didn’t quite catch it.”

“I’ll go for a drink with you, so which bar, asshole?” Tsukishima growled.

Kuroo beamed triumphantly and slung his arm around Tsukishima’s neck, making sure to lean in close as he pointed down the clustered street, “See that green neon sign?" 

Tsukishima nodded.

“Well it’s not over there so if you see that you’ve gone in the wrong direction.”

“I swear to god I will punch you if you don’t tell me where this fucking bar is.” Tsukishima threatened. Kuroo grabbed his shoulders and turned him around 180 degrees so he was facing in the opposite direction.

“It’s down this way on your left, next to the pharmacy, got it?”

Tsukishima nodded again, and Kuroo suddenly became very aware of the position he was in. He was standing so that he was looking over Tsukishima’s right shoulder, his face only centimetres from his Tsukishima’s, and all at once Kuroo had another of his genius ideas. He loosened his grip on Tsukishima’s shoulders and bent forward slightly, “8:00 o’clock sharp, don’t be late.” He muttered, before planting a delicate kiss on Tsukishima’s cheek and rushing back inside the building before Tsukishima could actually punch him or something.

On the way back up to his floor Kuroo bounced on his heels a little and hummed a tune to himself, smiling as he stepped out onto his floor and sauntered back to his desk. He hadn’t felt this confident and happy in a while, and Kenma could see it.

“What did you do?” Kenma asked as soon as he stepped into the room.

“What are you talking about?”

“You look smug, what did you do to the poor man?”

“I did what you said, I asked him out for drinks.” Kuroo replied innocently.

“...Did he say yes?”

“Of course he said yes!” Kuroo said, slumping down in his chair and propping his feet up on his desk, trying his best to suppress his smugness.

Kenma paused in the middle of gathering his things and narrowed his eyes, studying him.

“What?!”

“You asked him out on a date didn’t you?”

“No. Absolutely not.” Kuroo said insistently. Kenma kept glaring at him, “Okay, well I may have flirted with him a bit, but he pissed me off so he deserved it.”

Kenma let his head fall the the side, “He was pissing you off…so you flirted with him?”

“Yes.” Kuroo said proudly.

“In what universe does that make sense?”

Kuroo frowned, “In every universe.”

Kenma sighed and turned away from him, “Fine. You’re allowed to date whoever you want.”

“I told you it’s not a date! It’s an apology drink, just like you said.”

“No, it’s a date.”

Kenma resumed packing various papers and Kuroo just stared at him, following his movements with wide confused eyes. Kenma saw his gaze and rolled his eyes, “Were you even aware that you just asked a supposedly attractive man to have a drink with you, and that he said yes? Of course it’s a date.”

It took a while for the words to sink in, but once he registered what Kenma had said, Kuroo pointed an accusatory finger at him, “You…you set me up…on a date.”

“I did.” Kenma shouldered his bag and made his way towards the door.

“But…” Kuroo jumped up to block his way, feeling a mixture of anger, confusion, and gratefulness as he looked down at his friend, “You told me to ask him out to apologise.”

“I know, but I didn't say kissing was off the table.”

Kenma walked out of the office without so much as a goodbye, Kuroo staring after him with wonder. _How does he do that?_ Kuroo mused as he wandered back to his desk to pack his things. _That bastard_ , he thought, smiling to himself, _he’s too smart for his own good_.


	2. The Apology Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki and Kuroo get their drink, and a little something else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made this one a bit longer but the first bit is exactly the same so if you've already read it ctrl+f to 'several beers later'

Tsukishima fiddled with the collar on his shirt and ran a tired hand through his hair as he walked down the street towards the bar, trying his best to ignore the twist of anxiety that seemed to have permanently settled in his stomach. Despite constantly telling himself that it was only a simple drink, he had done his best to make himself look somewhat presentable. In fact, he had stood in front of the mirror for a full ten minutes, alternating between criticising his own appearance and insisting that he didn’t care what he looked like as long as it would all be over after this one drink.

 _You’re only nervous because you made a bad first impression… or rather, he did_. He told himself, but no matter how much he convinced himself that it didn’t matter, that it was ‘ _just one drink’,_ the knot in his stomach refused to relent.

He cast a swift glance at his watch: 19:53 PM. He was a little early, but that couldn’t be helped, the sooner it was over the better in his opinion.

He looked around for the pharmacy Kuroo had pointed out yesterday – his gaze quickly skipping over the Nekoma company building where Kuroo worked – and found the building next to it. He paused, convinced that he must have the wrong street, but no, there was the Nekoma building of the terrible toilet incident, the green neon sign he’d been told to ignore, the pharmacy Kuroo had mentioned…and the cat café next to it.

Tsukishima stood in front of the café, utterly dumbfounded. “You have got to be kidding me.” He muttered to himself.

“Yo Tsukki, you made it.” Kuroo called, sauntering over with a smug grin plastered on his face that made Tsukishima immediately want to smack it off. “I see you found our venue for tonight.”

He nearly turned around and walked away right there and then. “You told me we were going to a bar.” He said, glaring hard at him.

Kuroo shook his head, “I said we were going for a _drink_ , you were the one who assumed we’d be going to a bar.”

“You are unbelievable.”

“What’s the problem? This place is nice I promise.” Kuroo said, placing one hand on his chest and lifting the other in a gesture of pure honesty that was completely invalidated by his shit-eating grin and the gleam in his eyes.

“Bars have alcohol.” Tsukishima replied, “Which I am now in desperate need of.”

“Yeah but this place has _cats_.” Kuroo countered, as if that solved everything. “Wait, you’re not allergic are you?”

“Yes, absolutely. I have a terrible reaction if I’m even in the same room as one, it’s horrible. We should go somewhere else.”

Kuroo just laughed, not buying his lies for a second, “Good, come on then.”

He jumped up the few steps leading to the door and opened it with unnecessary grandeur, gesturing for Tsukishima to walk in first.

 _Just one drink, one drink, try not to kill him for that long at least._ He told himself as he walked up the stairs and stepped into the café.

The place seemed cosy enough. Built-in benches lined the walls on either side, completed with small, quaint tables and a mismatched array of chairs piled high with cushions. Lights shone dimly on the walls, illuminating the framed photographs and paintings that were thankfully not cat-themed. The entire place was a mix of light greens and warm purples that gave off a very comforting aura, and Tsukishima began to think that maybe he could relax a little in here after all.

Then, of course, there were the cats. They were literally everywhere: treading carefully along shelves, sleeping peacefully on chairs, or stretching themselves out on tables. The centre of the room was completely free of chairs or tables, consisting only of a huge mat and about five or six cats lazing around or grooming themselves. All throughout the café there were toys scattered around and climbing frames tastefully woven into the décor so the cats could wander where they pleased. 

Kuroo stepped in behind him and shut the door, three of the cats immediately coming over to wrap themselves around his legs. He cooed quietly at them before turning to Tsukishima with an actual genuine smile on his face. 

“Isn’t this place amazing?” He asked brightly.

Tsukishima’s expression did not change one bit as he made his way over to the circular window seat and sat down heavily. Kuroo, still smiling, followed, picking up one of the cats and settling it into his lap. 

Tsukishima glanced at the tall, muscular – and, let’s face it, _handsome_ – man in front of him and silently wondered what on Earth he was doing in a place like this. It wasn’t that he didn’t look like he belonged here, in fact, he looked perfectly at home, but somehow his smooth flirting and cheeky demeanour from yesterday didn’t really fit him now. 

“Is this weird for you?” Kuroo asked. “We can go to an actual bar if you’d prefer, I just thought…”

He was slightly taken aback by the question, and fumbled to explain his thoughts in a coherent way, “No, uh, this is fine, better actually. Less people.”

Kuroo nodded as if satisfied with himself, “Good.”

They sat in an awkward silence for a few moments, neither of them wanting to bring up the topic of yesterday’s incident, but not knowing what to say instead. Kuroo busied himself with the ginger tabby in his lap, and Tsukishima studied the menu religiously, as if there was something more interesting on there than a special discount on paninis. Thankfully, the uncomfortable atmosphere was relived slightly as a waiter came over to take their order. 

“Oh, Kuroo. Haven’t seen you in a while.” The waiter said. He was even taller than Tsukishima himself, and well-built, with neatly trimmed brown hair and a deep, rumbling voice. Tsukishima’s immediate reaction was to be intimidated by him, but then he realised that this guy worked in a cat café of all places, and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud. 

“Hey Ushiwaka.” Kuroo smiled, “Meet my…uh…friend, Tsukishima…?”

“Kei. Tsukishima Kei.” One good thing about his repressed laughter was that it helped make the smile on his face seem more genuine than actually intended as he shook Ushijima’s hand and mumbled, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” Ushijima commented, not even offering a smile as he grasped his hand in a crushingly firm grip. “Can I get you two anything to drink?” He asked after freeing Tsukishima’s hand, swiftly whipping out a small notepad and pencil and looking between them expectantly. 

“Two beers please Ushiwaka.” Kuroo said.

Ushijima nodded and walked away, his footsteps strangely light for someone of his build. Moments later he was back with two tall glasses filled with foaming golden liquid, which he set down in front of them both. “On the house.”

“I didn’t know they served beer in cat cafés.” Tsukishima commented offhandedly once Ushijima was out of earshot, taking a large gulp from his glass.

Kuroo just shrugged, “I know Ushiwaka, so he gets me any drink I want for free.”

Tsukishima surreptitiously threw a glance to the bulky man crouched in the middle of the mat letting the cats climb all over him, and had to take another swig of beer as he attempted to ignore the bizarre situation he was in. 

“So what, you offer to buy me a drink but he gives you everything for free?” Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at him, “That’s cheating.”

Kuroo clicked his toungue, “Tsukki, you need to pay more attention.” That grin was back, splitting his face and adding a dark gleam to his eyes, “I asked you to come have a drink with me, I never said I’d pay.”

Tsukishima hardly noticed that his glass was already empty. 

***

Several beers later and Tsukishima was beginning to love this café. 

He and Kuroo had been making small talk for the first hour or so, but once the flow of conversation began to run and as Tsukishima took more and more sips from his beer, he actually found that he was enjoying himself. Kuroo was easy to talk to, the kind of person who could keep up a conversation with ease, telling funny story after funny story, making Tsukishima snort laughter into his drink, much to his surprise. Kuroo also did his fair share of laughing, giggling at Tsukishima’s deadpan comments far more than was actually necessary, so much so that he began to wonder if Kuroo was merely humouring him. That is, until Kuroos actually started crying from laughter, and he realised that this was just Kuroo’s personality. Either that, or the alcohol.

Kuroo had asked Ushiwaka to break out the hard stuff as soon as he’d hung the closed sign on his door, and had somehow dragged Tsukishima into doing several shots too many. He was now lying down on the curved bench, head lolling backwards over the edge as he stared at Tsukishima upside-down, the faint traces of a grin ghosting his face as he listened to his ramblings about how pretty the cats were.

Somewhere along the way, Tsukishima had become fascinated by the cats. He had never been much of a fan of animals, but here he was, lying face down on the mat in the middle of the café, having an intense staring contest with a mottled brown cat who seemed less that impressed by the whole situation. 

“They’re just so nice, so soft.” Tsukishima mumbled, reaching out a tentative hand to stroke the cat. It shied away at first, but soon leaned into his touch, its gentle purrs sending pleasant vibrations tingling through his hand. He smiled, and lay his head in the crook of his elbow, content.

“Oh, an actual smile! I knew the cats were a good idea.” Kuroo slurred triumphantly.

Tsukishima didn’t even have the energy to glare at him, he was too happy, lying here with the animal’s soft fur tickling his fingertips and a nice warm feeling in his stomach from all the drink. He may have dozed off, he couldn’t quite remember, but the next thing he knew, Ushiwaka was lifting him under the armpits and settling him into a sitting position, despite Tsukishima’s noises of protest.

“I don’t want to be rude, but it’s 2:30 AM.” 

Kuroo looked up at him with a sly grin, “Only?” he said snarkily, making Tsukishima burst into a fit of giggles. 

Ushiwaka just sighed, “You two should get home, before both of you pass out.” 

“Ushiwaka~, such a killjoy~.” Kuroo whined, but still clambered carefully off the bench and stumbled over to Tsukishima, offering him an unsteady hand. Tsukishima accepted, both of them swaying dangerously on their feet and giggling before regaining their balance again. Kuroo pushed him gently towards the door, reaching into his pocket and fishing out a few notes to throw onto the table, lifting his hand in a casual wave as he said, “Thanks for the drinks Ushiwaka.” 

“And the cats.” Tsukishima mumbled. 

Kuroo laughed and shouted behind him, “and the cats!”

They stepped into the chilly night air, Tsukishima hissing against the cold, and drawing his sleeves over his hands to keep the warmth in. He subconsciously started leaning against Kuroo as they walked, and he felt a strong arm snake around his waist, keeping him upright as he teetered with every step. It felt nice, comfortable even.

His feet led them without him asking them to, they trailed a path Tsukishima wasn’t even aware of until they automatically stopped him right in front of his door.

“Oh.” He blinked blearily, “This is me.”

Kuroo stopped too, throwing the building a quick glance before looking back at Tsukishima and swallowing, “Okay, I guess I’ll…” He seemed to hesitate, lifting an arm to rub the back of his neck, before turning to look at Tsukishima under his eyelashes. 

 _Fuck_.

How could he say no to a look like _that_?

“You can stay.” He blurted out, watching that smug grin spread across the other man’s face once again, “You’ll probably get yourself killed if I let you leave now anyways.” He muttered, shoving his key into the door and prying the door open as gently as he could.

“So considerate Tsukki.” Kuroo said, stepping past Tsukishima and into his house once he’d opened the door wide enough.

Tsukishima locked the door and turned back around to find Kuroo’s face within inches of his own. He leaned in even closer, bracing his hands against the door as he leaned in to peck Tsukishima gently, intimately on the lips.

Tsukishima paused for a moment. Far from being angry, he merely raised an eyebrow, “What was that?”

“An apology kiss.” Kuroo said, the smile had left his face, and he was staring at Tsukishima intensely, a deadly serious undertone to his voice, “I really do feel bad about the whole toilet thing.” 

Tsukishima snorted, “You call that an apology kiss?”

He reached a hand up around Kuroo’s neck, and brought him against his lips. Tsukishima had no idea where he found the passion and energy, but he poured it all into the kiss, pushing Kuroo back a few steps and trying not to smile as he heard the other man’s breathing get heavier and heavier. Kuroo tried to break apart, but Tsukishima chased him, his tongue drawing out every little gasp it could before he finally relented.

Kuroo pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, panting and looking at Tsukishima with an unreadable expression on his face. Tsukishima just smirked, “ _That’s_ an apology kiss.”

He let his hand drop to his side, observing Tsukishima with interest, “You’ve obviously had more experience with those than I do.”

Tsukishima’s smirk practically fell off his face.

“Hah, yeah I guess.” He commented icily before brushing past Kuroo into the living room. “You can sleep on the couch, I’ll get you a blanket and pyjamas, just wait a minute.”

“Tsukki? Are you–?” 

“I’m fine, just wait there.” He quickly left the room, trying to focus on anything other than the stupid memories that were aroused by that stupid kiss.

_Stupid stupid stupid Kei, why did you do that?_

He busied his hands, searching in the cupboard for a spare pillow and blanket before rummaging through his drawers for pants and a t-shirt with a little too much flourish. He picked the first ones he saw, throwing them unceremoniously over his arm as he remerged into the front room.

Kuroo turned to him as soon as he walked in, quickly stepping forward to receive the various items piled on Tsukki’s arms and place them carefully on the couch.

“Um, I’m pretty tired so I’m going to go to sleep now, goodnight.” He turned to leave, but Kuroo’s hands were on his shoulders, his grip strong as he turned him back to face him. 

“Tsukki, if I said something wrong I’m really sorry.”

His sharp tongue seemed to have been whet even further by the sheer amount of drinks he’d had this evening, “If you were hoping to get laid tonight it was never going to happen.” He practically snarled.

Kuroo looked taken aback, flinching a little, as if that comment physically hurt him, and Tsukishima immediately felt the nausea of guilt rising within him, but said nothing. He tried to hide it as best he could, clenching his shaking hands at his sides, keeping a cool glare on his face, standing up straight despite the weakness he could feel growing behind his knees. He saw Kuroo’s eyes flicker downwards, but neither of them said a word, Tsukishima determined not to break as he gazed right back at Kuroo. 

After a moment, Kuroo’s hands lifted from his shoulders, “I know that.” He said quietly smiling a little before turning away, “Goodnight Tsukki.” 

Tsukishima treaded carefully back to his bedroom and shut the door, immediately planting himself down face-first on the bed. He let out a little groan as he let his hands tremble freely, and allowed the memories to tumble through his head.

_Tears, hands clenched in fabric, sobs, whines, shouts, screams–_

_Why do you always do this, Tsukki?_

_How many times?_

He allowed the exhaustion to take him, the memories of ghostly voices fading into nothingness as he drifted into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with an actual plot for this are you proud?


	3. Determination

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember what i said about plot???  
> ignore it
> 
> Also quick note, the names on the phones are what the other person has saved them as, so for example, Kuroo has Tsukishima saved as Tsukki~

Kuroo woke up to too-bright sunlight drifting in through the window and a headache that felt like his head was being split open from the inside, neither of which he was all to pleased about - not that he was pleased about waking up at all, for that matter. His eyes were heavy with sleep and everything ached and he was nowhere near ready to get up and face the day. He groaned, trying to roll over into a more comfortable position and maybe straighten out the kink in his neck, but ended up falling to the floor with a heavy _thump_ instead. 

 _Ah,_ he thought, the memories gradually returning, _Tsukki. Sofa. Fuck_.

He sat up, glaring at the sofa he’d fallen off of as if it was to blame for his whole situation, and fumbled around for his phone. The screen flashed and his headache flared, but he managed to make out a blurry ‘6:52 AM’ before it faded back to black. He groaned again, slowly clambering back to his feet and rubbing his eyes as he padded to the bathroom.

He sorted himself out, downing several glasses of water and splashing his face awake until his eyes finally opened all the way and his vision was no longer blurry around the edges. His hair was still a mess, but no more than usual, so he shrugged and followed his stomach through the living room and towards the kitchen.

Tsukki’s apartment was pretty small, but homely all the same. It was furnished to the bare minimum, only the necessities, but it was littered with a comfortable mess of magazines, clothes, and photographs that made the apartment seem warm somehow, like Tsukki had left little pieces of himself lying around for Kuroo to discover. He picked up one of the photo frames scattered with care along the sideboard - a younger Tsukki gently smiling at the camera whilst a slightly older boy with a striking resemblance to the little blonde flashed a grin and held up a peace sign with his arm slung casually around young Tsukki’s neck - and gave a soft smile. A lot of the frames seemed to feature the older boy, as well as a smaller, timid-looking brown-haired kid who Kuroo soon recognised to be Yamaguchi, whom he’d met briefly during business with Tsukki’s company. He scanned over them all, laughing to himself at the funny faces and the sparkling eyes and the general happiness that seemed to emanate from the pictures - so different from the grouchy, irritable Tsukki he knew _…well, kind of knew…was acquainted with…had met like twice before…I really don’t know anything about him do I?_

“Good morning.” 

Kuroo turned to see a disgruntled and sleepy Tsukki glaring at him from the doorway, his hair flat on one side and his glasses not quite sitting right atop his nose, blinking against the daylight as if it were personally affronting him with its brightness. He tried not to think of it as cute.

“Morning.” Kuroo smiled weakly at him, still slow with sleep and maybe a bit embarrassed about how things had turned out last night…okay, maybe a _lot_ embarrassed. He was interested in Tsukki, of course he was, but there was no way he’d make any advances if he saw Tsukki was uncomfortable with it, which, given the way he’d acted last night, he clearly was - he wasn’t _that_ much of an asshole for crying out loud. He was totally fine with taking things slowly, starting off with getting to know each other, maybe even graduate to friends before he could even think about doing anything else, and if Tsukki really did hate him, then they could part ways and never speak to each other again. He was prepared for that, the one problem was communicating that across to Tsukki. _Why is it so much easier to say these things in my head instead of out loud_ , he whined to himself.

He desperately searched for something to say, something that would hopefully make him stop glaring so fiercely in every direction, “You used to be so cute Tsukki, what happened?”

Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed as he saw the photo frame in Kuroo’s hand, “You seem to have a habit of sticking your nose where it really isn’t wanted.”

Kuroo shrugged, “Only when you’re involved.”

Tsukishima ignored him, brushing past and into the kitchen where he started to pull things out of various cupboards and shelves. Kuroo followed him, still holding the photograph, but way more interested in the smell of the bacon Tsukishima had started frying. “Can I do anything to help?”

“That depends,” Tsukki began, holding out a carton of eggs without looking at him, “can you fry an egg?”

Kuroo grinned, swiping the carton from his hands and squeezing in next to him at the hob, placing the photograph down on the side, “You’re in luck, they happen to be my specialty.”

Tsukki scoffed at him and Kuroo bumped shoulders with him by _complete_ accident, he swears. They worked on making their meal together, and Kuroo tried to ignore just how disgustingly domestic it all was. _Tsukki doesn’t want to think of me like that, not yet. Since when have I been the type for all this fluffy relationship stuff anyway? I barely even know the guy, let’s just take it slow, start out by getting to know him better._

“That’s Yamaguchi right? Your friend? Man, he’s grown up quite a bit. And this kid, is this your brother or something? He’s in a lot of your photos.”

“Yeah.” His tone was nonchalant, almost carefree, but Kuroo didn’t miss the way Tsukki’s hands stilled and his eyebrows twitched down the tiniest fraction. He didn’t press any further. Tsukki didn’t offer any more information either, so there was this absurdly awkward silence just dangling in-between them as they continued with their activities and it made almost made him want to scream in frustration.

_Jesus, this guy is really hard to crack. Am I doing something wrong? Is this about last night? What even was that? As far as I can tell he flipped out on me for no reason. Maybe it’s because he was drunk. But surely he’d have apologised this morning if that’s all it was? Was it the kiss? No, he kissed me again after that, so he must have been okay with it. Fuck, he’s a really good kisser actually. I wouldn’t mind doing that again-_

“Kuroo!” Tsukki yelled right in his ear and he jumped so hard he almost threw the eggs all over the floor, “I called you like three times, are you deaf or something?” He tipped his weight onto his left foot impatiently, holding out two plates already decorated neatly with strips of bacon. The smell set Kuroo’s stomach rumbling embarrassingly loudly. 

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” He answered, carefully tipping out the eggs onto the plates Tsukki held out for him.

Tsukki raised a skeptical eyebrow, “What the hell were you thinking about? It must have been pretty distracting, you nearly burnt the eggs.”

“I was thinking about you,” Kuroo grinned at the way Tsukki’s mouth almost _snapped_ shut, “And whilst you are _very_ distracting with your flowing golden hair and gorgeous eyes, the eggs were fine, thank you very much. I told you, they’re my specialty.”

He turned away, and Kuroo pretended not to notice the dash of pink on Tsukki’s cheeks. 

***

Breakfast was filled with short snippets of failed conversations, where Kuroo would desperately try to get Tsukki to talk with him about _something_ and he would quickly get cut off by Tsukki’s abrupt comments and curt answers. He wasn’t sure if it was unintentional, or if it was just Tsukki being difficult, but he was determined to get through to him somehow. 

Except time was running out, as was his patience, and Kuroo was seriously considering just giving up, and leaving Tsukki alone like he clearly wanted. Probably the only thing that kept him going was the thought of Kenma’s disgusted face and the imminent eye-roll he could practically _feel_ coming on once he thought of retelling the story of his failed escapade. He’d been on the receiving end of that exact combination before after a similar complication with his feelings for his best friend, and it had not been pretty. Kuroo nearly shuddered at the thought of those calculating amber eyes glaring at him once again, and suddenly he was filled with all sorts of inspiration to get Tsukki to talk to him. It was going to happen. He was going to _make_ it happen, even if he had to resort to a few somewhat unconventional matters that Kenma would most definitely snort at.

He was going to get Tsukishima Kei to talk to him, by whatever means necessary.

***

**Tsukki~ - 9:10AM**

what the fuck

 

**Kuroo - 9:10AM**

hello to u too

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:11AM**

what the hell is this?

 

**Kuroo - 9:11AM**

what does it look like

it’s a text message

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:11AM**

stop being a smart ass

tell me what the fuck is going on

 

**Kuroo - 9:11AM**

i told u

it’s a text message

we can text each other now

isn’t that awesome????

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:12AM**

how the fuck did i get your number?

 

**Kuroo - 9:12AM**

more like how the fuck do u not have code for ur phone

how old r u 90???

i took the liberty of implanting my number so u can text me whenever u want

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:12AM**

fuck you

 

**Kuroo - 9:12AM**

thought you’d never ask

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:12AM**

you disgust me

 

**Kuroo - 9:12AM**

wow rude

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:12AM**

says the guy who snooped through my phone without permission

 

**Kuroo - 9:12AM**

how dare u

i did not snoop

 

**Kuroo - 9:14AM**

okay maybe i did

but only a little i swear

besides

it’s ur fault for not having a fucking code seriously

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:15AM**

t(-_-t)

 

 **Kuroo - 9:15AM**  

u can use emojis????

guess ur not as much of a granddad as i thought

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:16AM**

how much did you see?

 

**Kuroo - 9:16AM**

context would be great darling

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:17AM**

on my phone you idiot

did you look through my messages?

 

**Kuroo - 9:17AM**

of course not

who the fuck do you think i am??

i would never invade ur privacy like that jesus

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:17AM**

well you did walk in on me whilst i was on the toilet

just in case you forgot about that

 

**Kuroo - 9:17AM**

CAN WE STOP BRINGING THAT UP PLS

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:17AM**

not as long as it still makes you uncomfortable

 

**Kuroo - 9:17AM**

has anyone ever told u that ur kind of an asshole??

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:17AM**

not recently no

 

**Kuroo - 9:18AM**

to quote u from earlier

‘fuck you’

and not in the sexy way either :(

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:18AM**

please will you just tell me what you did to my phone

besides setting yourself as ‘the really hot cat guy’ in my contacts list

 

**Kuroo - 9:18AM**

i didn’t want u to confuse me with somebody else

this way you won’t forget me

u better not change it

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:18AM**

too late

 

**Kuroo - 9:18AM**

:(:(:(

what am i now then??

i bet it’s rlly boring 

like my name or something

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:18AM**

tell me what you saw and i’ll tell you what you’re saved as

 

**Kuroo - 9:18AM**

i didn’t see anything incriminating i swear

i just looked through your photos a bit

and maybe saved a couple of them…

and maybe took some selfies…

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:19AM**

if i see any dick pics i swear to god i will come and burn your house down

 

**Kuroo - 9:19AM**

that seems a bit dramatic don’t u think?? 

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:19AM**

oh my god

 

**Kuroo - 9:19AM**

don’t worry there aren’t any dick pics 

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:19AM**

if you’re lying…

 

**Kuroo - 9:19AM**

i’m not i swear

cross my heart and all that

ur camera roll is yet to be blessed ;)

 

 **Tsukki~ - 9:19AM**  

i reiterate

t(-_-t)

 

**Kuroo - 9:19AM**

why r u so mean

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:19AM**

genetic disposition

 

**Kuroo - 9:20AM**

ahahaha omg

so r u gonna tell me what my name is now??

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:21AM**

show me which photos you saved first

 

**Kuroo - 9:21AM**

what??

no way

 

**Tsukk~ - 9:21AM**

need i remind you that they’re MY photos

 

**Kuroo - 9:21AM**

exactly

u already have them

u don’t need to see them again

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

 _Tsukki~_ _sent a photo_

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

 **Kuroo -** **9:25AM**

ummm

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

**Kuroo - 9:25AM**

what r these????

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

_Tsukki~ sent a photo_

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:27AM**

these are the selfies you took the liberty of leaving on my phone

there are 109 of them

and i plan to keep every single one of them

 

**Kuroo - 9:27AM**

aww tsukki~

do u love my face that much???

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:27AM**

no

they’re blackmail

 

**Kuroo - 9:27AM**

oh no

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:27AM**

if you ever try to do something stupid 

i will send these photos to everyone on your contacts list

 

**Kuroo - 9:27AM**

u don’t know who’s on my contacts list

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:28AM**

of course i don’t

but i’m sure your subordinate does 

what was his name??

Kenma???

 

 **Kuroo - 9:28AM**  

u wouldn’t

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:28AM**

i’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem sharing the list with me

especially once he sees some of the REALLY terrible ones on here

 

**Kuroo - 9:28AM**

oh my god

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:28AM**

i’m almost impressed with the number of chins you can produce with your neck

 

**Kuroo - 9:28AM**

OKAY OKAY FINE

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:28AM**

>:)

 

**Kuroo - 9:29AM**

t(-_-t)

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

_Kuroo sent a photo_

 

**Kuroo - 9:32AM**

that’s all of them

i only took the good ones

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:33AM**

…

 

**Kuroo - 9:44AM**

so 

are u finally gonna tell me my name??

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:44AM**

you’ll be happy to know i changed it to something suitably ridiculous with you in mind

 

**Kuroo - 9:44AM**

and this fabulous name is??

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:44AM**

cat asshole

 

**cat asshole - 9:45AM**

omfg

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:45AM**

i found it to be pretty accurate

for both your appearance and character

 

**cat asshole - 9:45AM**

pls don’t ever change it omg

 

**Tsukki~ - 9:45AM**

fine by me

 

Kuroo dropped his phone on his bed and tried not to grin too much. They’d had a conversation. An actual, (sort of) normal conversation without any alcohol involved. He was so euphoric he didn’t even notice the way his heart seemed to aching in the most curious way, and how he kept fiddling with his phone - turning it about in his hands, unlocking it for no particular reason, scrolling through his camera roll and lingering just a little bit longer on the photos of Tsukki before shutting it off - or how he kept thinking of what he could say next to him.

He hardly even noticed that, with each text, with each ‘fuck you’ and middle finger emoji and terrible joke, a tiny piece of him fell just a little bit more in love with Tsukishima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like a have a lot of explaining to do omg
> 
> so i've been having serious writer's block with this fic, so i decided to try a different format to se if it would help - which i guess it kind of did, if the 2000 words are anything to show for it lol. i'm sorry if the writing style is not very consistent with the other chapters, but i really wanted to get another chapter out as soon as i could and i wrote this in like four hours or so so please excuse the mess. 
> 
> as for updates, again, i can't make any promises, and they may become even less regular given that i'm starting uni soon, so please don't expect anything. as i mentioned, i don't actually have a plot for this fic (any of my pics actually lol help) so it takes me much longer to make sure that the story lines up with the previous chapters and i only ever write when i get the inspiration, and writer's block is fucking awful so i'm really sorry, but i'll always update as soon as i can
> 
> finally, thanks to everyone who's actually been reading this fic??? this got so many kudos and hits omg it really makes me so happy so thank you guys, and if you've been here since the very beginning then a round of applause for you because you have some god-like patience there my friend (seriously tho thank you)

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: haikyup  
> ^_^


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